Monday 12 August 2013

Learn some respect? Really?

Oooh and here's another of those "Share If You agree" facebook things.


Really?  So lets start at the beginning, this is saying that if you had spoken rudely to your parents, you wouldn't be here to share this status - because your parents were so "strict" (read violent and controlling maybe) they would have killed you.  Or in a tamer interpretation, done something to you so that you couldn't type the status?  Or even tamer, maybe they would still be controlling your life to the extent that you would not be able to get online, use facebook, communicate?  Whichever way it is, I'd not be bragging about parents like that - they sound like Fred n Rose West or something.

And the other bit - about the children learning respect - where are they going to learn this from?  From someone who thinks good parenting is a walloping for talking out of turn?  Or preventing kids from communicating?  Where did the person posting this little gem learn about respect I wonder?  It seems their interpretation relies on fear of something terrible if you were rude to your parents.

Do I think some children need to learn the meaning of respect?  Well, yes they likely do, but no more than they did when I was a child.  Is this post saying it was better a generation or two ago? If so then I'd have to disagree - I knew kids who regularly got smacked, walloped and worse because that's what their parents saw as good parenting - looking at a lack of control on their part, resulting in bad behaviour in their kids as an excuse to be violent, controlling and mean to their children.

Actually, children these days are taught directly and unequivocally what respect is all about in school.  I was taught the three r's and did a lot of colouring in and copying out (handwriting practise).  Lets be really honest, it wasn't all that great in school 30 yrs ago for kids.

If you really want to harp on about children today - go teach, or at least make sure your children do understand that respect isn't about being afraid of getting hurt if you were rude to adults.  Hopefully it is about understanding how adults will look at you and feel if you are rude to them, so you can avoid making people feel shitty by being thoughtless, or encouraging adults with no respect to be rude, mean or violent back to you.

I haven't shared this, because I don't agree.  I've never felt that I wouldn't be around now if I had been rude to my parents when I was younger.  I wasn't rude to my parents because I wasn't under their feet twentyfour seven, I was out playing with other kids.   Its a luxury I didn't necessarily recognise then, but I do now - kids today don't have the luxury of being able to spend most of their days unsupervised by parents for a variety of reasons.  And if I had been under my parents feet as much as kids tend to be these days, I suspect I'd have had a fair few more run ins with my mum and dad than I did.

Still at least these little gems of ill thought out nostalgia get you thinking.  Or not.  In which case, you can just share like the other sheep.

Daiz xx

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