Saturday, 9 June 2012

An Interview With The Spoilt Brat that is Prometheus.

(There might be small spoilers, but no endings given away or specifics - If in doubt, wait til after you see it, you big girl!!)

An Interview With Prometheus –

Daisy Connolly is granted an exclusive Interview with the film itself. Is it a flawed entity surviving mostly on Daddy’s Good Name?

DC- Its great to talk to you at what must be a very busy time, and I’m betting the overwhelming attention you are getting right now is somewhat daunting.

P – Well, its always great to feel wanted, you know. From my very conception I’ve been lucky enough to feel that sometimes aching need from my creators, and the public.

DC – One might almost say that possibly, you have been afforded a little too much, too soon, compared to films that have had to fight more for the recognition. It might even be said that you have suffered from that age old problem of believing the hype. Maybe?

P – There was always that fear I guess, that I might not be able to please those who so looked forward to my creation. But I guess you can never please everyone, right?

DC – Riiight. Still, if ever there was a gold medallist in the waiting, it was you. The promise of answers to questions fans have had about your family of movies – Previously known to us all as the Alien Trilogy plus the fourth black sheep one, and the gypsy cousin that is Alen V Predatorn – its had a lot of pull, and you have therefore had a very privileged creation. 130 million is a tasty inheritance to build on...

P – Yes, I never really had to worry about the money too much, which meant the vision could be realised. But that can be a burden in itself – and there was always a sense of trying to produce something that ticked all the boxes.

DC – Do you think you possibly over stretched the vision at times, because of your privileged dynasty?

P – Hard to say, we certainly packed a lot in there, but whether I can hold onto the fans on my own – I’m gonna have to wait and see. I think I may be relying on siblings to follow for the full realisation of this particular cinematic Oddysey.

DC – there are more films planned of course, and one of my personal criticisms might be that you do indeed fall somewhat short of expectations on your own. That you will NEED the back up of the films to follow – We maybe only have one Bee Gee here, and its therefore a little churlish to point out YOUR flaws until we have, as it were, got Wind And Fire to add to your Earth.

P – (smiles and nods nervously)

DC – Still, it might be useful to look at the task that faces your siblings – its always been said that the second and third child would benefit from the mistakes made with the first. – So, what the hell was the thing with Guy Pierce in old make up? That seemed like a bizarre and confusing choice. Did it have a point?

P – Possibly... I believe he did some sterling work pre-birth on the internet, which established his purpose – viral stuff.

DC – Ahhh right, so he was kind of an indulgence then, like an inappropriate candy bar to spoil the child maybe. Scope there for your siblings to sort that little glitch out I guess. Moving on to the Vickers character – you seem, overall, to be far less concerned with character and storyline, and far more concerned with the bluster of special effects and shock moments to see you through. Vickers is a great example of underdeveloped characterisation. In fact, she is so 2 dimensional, she could be the alien universe’s very own Flat Stanley. Which made her eventual fate even more ridiculous. Hopefully, future siblings will have more time spent on aspects like characterisation, which will of course make for a more rounded experience, instead of the shallow petulance that you are, at times, clearly guilty of.

P – I have flaws, and of course we can’t be good at everything, can we. (Smiles through gritted teeth)

DC – Absolutely. But perhaps characterisation is an area to be looked at for the future, in order to avoid the sort of issues that faced other overstretched film dynasties, such as the Star Wars Saga, and the Matrix Series. Now, its always nice for the public to leave with questions, but what we hope for usually is that they are not of the “What The Fuck Was That All About??” sort. Do you feel that maybe too many important questions were just left hanging? Or is that something else you are expecting your future siblings to address?

P – Yes, that. The Future siblings thing. Any questions will be answered in future films I’d guess.

DC – Really? Are you sure? Because people will be really narked if it all finishes up like bloody “Lost” and turns out to be Jesus again. Seriously.

P – (long nervous pause) ....I will pass those thoughts on. (looks at feet)

DC – Right, well, now all that is addressed, I just want to say thanks to Prometheus for taking the time to talk to us. On a positive note, Prometheus is well worth a look. Just bear in mind that its an over indulged, over privileged, sometimes lazy piece that will leave more questions than answers, and that quite frankly could have used a little more strict discipline growing up.

P – Wait, what? Do you know who I am? Seriously, can she say that? I’m leaving now...