Monday, 31 December 2012

With a little Help from my friends...

Its that time of year again - looking back, looking forward, judging yourself, evaluating, all that shizz.

Its no real surprise that its a miserable time for loads of folk who struggle with various mental health issues.  To be surrounded by people either celebrating amazing achievements or strongly professing how they are going to set themselves right in the new year, just hammers home the difficulties they face.

Difficulties like realising what their achievements have been in the face of either negative voices form outside, or their own damning voices from within.

Or that feeling that everything that was wrong about this year will be even worse in the next.

Or the feeling that you know what needs to be done, but you can't see any way to get there.

The list could go on.  I know its a dreadfully destructive mindset.  So do the others with depressive issues.  Sadly there's the rub, folks.  It is a SET mind that keeps us down, and its as hard to tackle as things like alcoholism, drug addiction and the like.

Winter weather is a bugger too, and more so this year, with its endless gloomy rain stretching on day after day.  This year in particular, people with depression will be struggling with the New Year stuff more than ever.

BUT its is survivable.  It is beatable.  It is defeatable.  With help.

Help comes from the little things
- posting a catch up message to a friend that you have let slip a little
- recalling good times with others
- sharing the niggles and the crap that grinds us all down (yours and theirs - so they don't think its just them)
- giving out some positivity whether its asked for or not
- Just recognising that it is hard to "cheer up" sometimes is a huge thing.
- Give people time to come around, see the brighter side, take a step forward.
- dropping in for a brew - great for all concerned!
- Lend an ear, listen carefully, and try not to offer solutions unless they are asked for.
I'm sure  you can all think of other stuff too :)

So this new year, try not to "leave em to it" when someone is struggling to find the brightness in life.  Every little nudge of support will make a difference.   Definately nudge away - you'd be suprised what a difference it makes.  :)

Daisy xx

Sunday, 30 December 2012

My Big Fat Rant about Body Image Stuff

I always hated shows like Ugly Betty that try their best to present different body models, but end up as a patronising shit soup of endless self justifying skinny folk saying stuff like "some of my best friends are unpretty..." and "you're pretty smart for a fat/ugly/mental/whateverlabeltheychoose girl".

But it seems E4 have taken my annoyances and amplified them. Its like some rancid, maggot riddled hand expecting me to let it squeeze my inflamed boil of fury.

New show My Big Fat Teenage Diary is about Rae who is 16, struggling to cope with being a teenager in the 90's.  That alone might have been interesting and at least worthy of a look see.  But then we have this - 

"Though Rae is over-weight and struggles with mental health issues, she’s still a fun-loving girl with a lust for life and a big crush on Liam Gallagher."

So, basically, even though she's FAT she will still be having fun. Oh Excellent, because I was thinking all fat people are miserable and sad on account of their poor fat bodies and the fact that no one likes them. 

From the trailer and the E4 blurb, it seems the thing that will "save" poor fat mental Rae is that she will become part of an entourage of "The coolest people I've ever met" and her life will have meaning where it had none before.

What an ace message - dear overweight fat girls with body image worries, the closest you will get to having a normal life is to latch on to a bunch of "cool kids" and hope some scraps of cool fall your way.

And the so called cool kids look like a bunch of Blue Wicked drinking Jocks and Mean Girls just desperate for a pal like Rae that they can set up for falls and patronise to maintain their deluded superiority over all.

NOW obviously, I haven't seen it.  But I just feel these elements need not be the show's selling points - Overweight girl, with mental issues, seeking acceptance from non overweight gang of so called "normal" kids.  As billed and as promoted, I can't see anything other than a disgustingly skewed presentation of what overweight girls with mental issues need to put themselves right - Normal friends, who can help her to conform i.e. become not overweight and not mental.

This blog was written before the show even airs.  Here's hoping that the heroine shows the gang of straights what a bunch of shallow twats they are and kicks them into touch, replacing them with friends of whatever shape size or mental capability they might be, for it need not be made a feature!!!

Here's hoping. 

Daisy xx

Wednesday, 26 December 2012

Ebay sucks donkeys.

Right, ebay.  Time to speak my mind.

A few weeks ago, out of the blue I got an email from ebay saying I was banned from buying because of leaving low detailed seller ratings.

No warning, no negotiations, just cut off for 90 days.

I had very recently had a seller who was extremely awkward with me, after I won an item.  Told me he no longer had the item but only after I mailed after a week to see if it had been posted.  I then had to request a refund, he didn't offer one.  He told me it would be a week.  I waited a week, it never came.  Then I mailed and he said paypal was at fault and it would take another week.  So I opened a case to get my refund, which then came within 2 hours :)

I left him feedback.  It was neutral, and said he wasn't forthcoming with refund and didn't sell the item.

It was after this I got my ebay email, saying I had left low detailed seller ratings and was trying to undermine my competitors.  Confusing, since I sell maybe half a dozen bits and pieces every few months, usually in school hols when I have time to make sure things are posted.

Now, I feel it was likely a complaint from this guy, who thinks because I got my refund I should have just shut my trap.  My feeling is that feedback is to inform other buyers that the seller isn't all that, and may decide not to sell and mess you about on a whim.

The guy emailed to ask for the neutral to be removed and I said no, and he was lucky wasn't a negative.  That must've rattled his cage I think.

Anyway, I stand by my ratings, and giving stroppy sellers the ratings I think they deserve.

However, I have currently NO right of reply or redress with ebay.

Here's another nark though - I can't BUY on ebay, but I can still SELL - because of course MY seller ratings are very high across the board as I'm not a dick and dont refuse to sell something if it is won for less than I like.  Also, because ebay makes MONEY from sellers, not from buyers, they will let me sell.  As far as ebay is concerned, buyers are ten a penny, so it costs them NOWT to ban a few to keep their sellers happy.

The more I think about how ebay has treated this, the more annoyed I get.  And its just not good to keep things inside to fester so I'm blogging.  Feel free to pass on this moan about the online giant EBAY being a bit of a twat to the little folk.  I'll feel better and more like I've had a say.

Ebay, you are a bunch of anal retentive, money grabbing bureaucrats.  Your ethics stink of corporate interference and low morals.

Oh and no, I won't be selling either so you can't still sponge your ten percent from me.

Daisy xx