Monday, 12 August 2013

Learn some respect? Really?

Oooh and here's another of those "Share If You agree" facebook things.

Really?  So lets start at the beginning, this is saying that if you had spoken rudely to your parents, you wouldn't be here to share this status - because your parents were so "strict" (read violent and controlling maybe) they would have killed you.  Or in a tamer interpretation, done something to you so that you couldn't type the status?  Or even tamer, maybe they would still be controlling your life to the extent that you would not be able to get online, use facebook, communicate?  Whichever way it is, I'd not be bragging about parents like that - they sound like Fred n Rose West or something.

And the other bit - about the children learning respect - where are they going to learn this from?  From someone who thinks good parenting is a walloping for talking out of turn?  Or preventing kids from communicating?  Where did the person posting this little gem learn about respect I wonder?  It seems their interpretation relies on fear of something terrible if you were rude to your parents.

Do I think some children need to learn the meaning of respect?  Well, yes they likely do, but no more than they did when I was a child.  Is this post saying it was better a generation or two ago? If so then I'd have to disagree - I knew kids who regularly got smacked, walloped and worse because that's what their parents saw as good parenting - looking at a lack of control on their part, resulting in bad behaviour in their kids as an excuse to be violent, controlling and mean to their children.

Actually, children these days are taught directly and unequivocally what respect is all about in school.  I was taught the three r's and did a lot of colouring in and copying out (handwriting practise).  Lets be really honest, it wasn't all that great in school 30 yrs ago for kids.

If you really want to harp on about children today - go teach, or at least make sure your children do understand that respect isn't about being afraid of getting hurt if you were rude to adults.  Hopefully it is about understanding how adults will look at you and feel if you are rude to them, so you can avoid making people feel shitty by being thoughtless, or encouraging adults with no respect to be rude, mean or violent back to you.

I haven't shared this, because I don't agree.  I've never felt that I wouldn't be around now if I had been rude to my parents when I was younger.  I wasn't rude to my parents because I wasn't under their feet twentyfour seven, I was out playing with other kids.   Its a luxury I didn't necessarily recognise then, but I do now - kids today don't have the luxury of being able to spend most of their days unsupervised by parents for a variety of reasons.  And if I had been under my parents feet as much as kids tend to be these days, I suspect I'd have had a fair few more run ins with my mum and dad than I did.

Still at least these little gems of ill thought out nostalgia get you thinking.  Or not.  In which case, you can just share like the other sheep.

Daiz xx

Sunday, 11 August 2013

Enough with the Uglifying....

So I saw a post on my facebook timeline saying "Everyone has an ugly friend..." - it implied several things that trouble me hugely.  Firstly, that everyone is shallow enough to judge their friends according to their looks, and place them above or below themselves.  Secondly that they see those friends that are less conventionally attractive than themselves as ugly. Such a nasty word, and to tag someone with that trait is saying they produce a reaction of disgust in others.  Its not only telling them something about how they look, but telling them how others react to them.  Thirdly and most noxious is the final implication that if you DON'T think you have ugly friends, it must mean that you are unknowingly the one that is the "ugly friend" 

Posts like this are at the root of some of the shittiest crap that goes on on the internet.  They peddle the message that EVERYONE judges you, even those you trust.  It says you should judge others before they judge you.  It says that if you don't judge others like this, you are naive and everyone else is judging you anyway.  The message it throws out is this - People are all cunts, so be a cunt and fit in.

All this hidden bullshit is sprayed around on facebook as being jokey, funny and harmless.  Quirky quotes of aggressive crap telling how you don't care about the folk who give you angst in life are another trend I hate.  I see that people might want to present a facade of bravado, but truthfully, if people are shitwits to you, you need to show them how that hurts, not wear the mask of some angry cunt who doesn't like others to hide the fact that you are hurting.  Otherwise you risk becoming the angry cunt who doesn't like anyone.

The ugly friend thing in particular needs stamping on - Nothing is more ugly than encouraging others to be judgemental in order to feel better about being a judgemental twat yourself.  Just don't do it.  Don't make others feel like crap.  Don't think about your friends like that.   Its really fucking destructive.

Have I got any ugly friends?  - well, I'm sure there are people on my timeline and friends list who do judge others in lots of ways, but I can't really bring myself to tag them as ugly.  Do I have friends who might be seen as less than attractive?  Fuck knows, people, I truly wouldn't have a bloody clue because I'm too busy trying to keep my own head above water to be arsed pushing anyone elses under.

So, erm..... stop it with the judgey judging judgefest.  Life is hard enough surely....

Dais xx