Well, not quite EOM since I'm now going to rattle on like a narky grandma about why I'm so damned unsatisfied with the new Smartphones coming out.
I just compared my Nexus One (The supposed google phone failure???) to the latest HTC Desire S handset. Its the same, except for some updated GSM stuff like HSDPA, HSUPA improvements, and BT3. After 13 months? Seriously?
The same chip, well a second version but the same Snapdragon 1GHz, not a dual core or anything fancy.
Same camera - with added touch focus. Bet I could get that via a software update.
Same size, weight, screen (now S-LCD not AMOLED)
Some backwards steps even - no trackball, only in BLACK!!, so no classy brushed brown-grey metal or teflon coating. Dorks.
What in holy cock is going on at the design offices of these smartphone peeps, that they think Black is the new Black?
I reckon there are some serious S and M Fetishists running things, considering the amount of shiny black plastic flying around on these new devices. Its not that I want some chintz in its place or anything, just something a little less cheap and nasty looking.
So, Nexus One, my little failure (I KNOW, RIGHT!!!!) I love you still. I've had this phone for 13months now, and still I'm struggling for ANYTHING to make me switch. That, my techy friends, is bloody sad. Get your fingers out - I want more than just a bit of faster GSM potential (My signal is governed by flaky network anyway so it totally has an Asterisk next to that saying subject to a whole ass load of other factors.)
What I have to choose from currently is a whole load of black shiny plastic junk (well, thats on first glance...)
Xperia Arc - Good specs, and Sony have good cameras, but they mess with my OS too much, so i'm not that drawn... Plus no front camera or trackball
LG 3D - Oooh so 3D sounds like fun for a few hours out the box, but hardly a game changer for day to day for me anyways.
Nexus S2 - Again lovely specs but its a placky cheapo lightweight thing I wouldn't feel was worth the 600 quid I bet they will be charging (Could maybe get it on contract, but not without some huge monthly tarrif and endless minutes that I never use)
I just want something great to hold and efficient to use.
C'mon, money is burning a hole right now, stop licking the balls of the iPhone knobheads and give me something to yearn for. I'm looking at you, HTC.
Saturday, 26 February 2011
Friday, 14 January 2011
Book Of Eli Epic Twitter Review.
CAUTION - UNBRIDLED IRREVERENCE. (And some f words)
PLUS SPOILERS. ALTHOUGH THAT TERM MAY BE AN OXYMORON IN THIS CASE.
This twitter review was written in real time whilst watching Book Of Eli
Book Of Eli Tweet 1 - We're 20 minutes in, and he has eaten a cat and read a book fer a bit. Bag. Of. Shite. So. Far.
Book Of Eli Tweet 2 - He just did an impression of Wes Snipes in Blade. Now he's honing his image of the baddest Jehovas Witness EVAH!!!
Book of Eli Tweet 3 - Things might be looking up. Tom Waits just arrived.
Book of Eli Tweet 4 - Nope. Still shit. But I'll keep you posted if it changes. Don't hold your breath....
Book Of Eli Tweet 5 temptation falls in the path of "black Kwai Chang Caine" Not so much a tangled web, more a bit of a knot in some cotton
Book Of Eli tweet 6 - Can't believe I'm actually holding off waxing my tache for this....
Book of Eli Tweet 7 - I just wrenched all the tiny hairs out of my top lip as I thought it would be less painful than watching the film.
Book of Eli tweet 8 - He has a companion now, like a religious Dr Who. But shit.
Book of Eli Tweet 9 - He's no Samuel Jackson with the Bible Quoting. More like a bible episode of Jackanory. With Denzel as Derek Griffiths
Book Of Eli Tweet 10 - Why is this film so dark? Because it's up it's own arse.
Book Of Eli Tweet 11 - I just perked up at Francis De La Tour. Fucking Quality, but a bit like popping a diamond atop a curly turd.
Book Of Eli tweet 12 - arse, the diamond that was De La Tour just bit it. Looks like the sparkler sank beneath the bum egg without trace..
Book Of Eli Tweet 13 - Nice belly laugh from the big truck reversing with a beeping sound. Still, its no "Hangover"....
Book Of Eli tweet 14 - David At Dentist:On "Is this gonna be forever??" David At Dentist:Off
Book Of Eli Tweet 15 - Holy carp, now they're dragging folk from The Nexus to help out. Weak.
Book Of Eli Tweet 16 - Balls, he could be making any old shit up. Like Hurley in Lost rewriting the script for Return Of The Jedi!!
Book Of Eli Tweet 17 - Cool, the ultimate advert for the consumer society at the end - she's got it all on her iPod.
Book Of Eli Tweet 18 - Its OVER!!!! There ya go, I watched it so no one else has to...
PLUS SPOILERS. ALTHOUGH THAT TERM MAY BE AN OXYMORON IN THIS CASE.
This twitter review was written in real time whilst watching Book Of Eli
Book Of Eli Tweet 1 - We're 20 minutes in, and he has eaten a cat and read a book fer a bit. Bag. Of. Shite. So. Far.
Book Of Eli Tweet 2 - He just did an impression of Wes Snipes in Blade. Now he's honing his image of the baddest Jehovas Witness EVAH!!!
Book of Eli Tweet 3 - Things might be looking up. Tom Waits just arrived.
Book of Eli Tweet 4 - Nope. Still shit. But I'll keep you posted if it changes. Don't hold your breath....
Book Of Eli Tweet 5 temptation falls in the path of "black Kwai Chang Caine" Not so much a tangled web, more a bit of a knot in some cotton
Book Of Eli tweet 6 - Can't believe I'm actually holding off waxing my tache for this....
Book of Eli Tweet 7 - I just wrenched all the tiny hairs out of my top lip as I thought it would be less painful than watching the film.
Book of Eli tweet 8 - He has a companion now, like a religious Dr Who. But shit.
Book of Eli Tweet 9 - He's no Samuel Jackson with the Bible Quoting. More like a bible episode of Jackanory. With Denzel as Derek Griffiths
Book Of Eli Tweet 10 - Why is this film so dark? Because it's up it's own arse.
Book Of Eli Tweet 11 - I just perked up at Francis De La Tour. Fucking Quality, but a bit like popping a diamond atop a curly turd.
Book Of Eli tweet 12 - arse, the diamond that was De La Tour just bit it. Looks like the sparkler sank beneath the bum egg without trace..
Book Of Eli Tweet 13 - Nice belly laugh from the big truck reversing with a beeping sound. Still, its no "Hangover"....
Book Of Eli tweet 14 - David At Dentist:On "Is this gonna be forever??" David At Dentist:Off
Book Of Eli Tweet 15 - Holy carp, now they're dragging folk from The Nexus to help out. Weak.
Book Of Eli Tweet 16 - Balls, he could be making any old shit up. Like Hurley in Lost rewriting the script for Return Of The Jedi!!
Book Of Eli Tweet 17 - Cool, the ultimate advert for the consumer society at the end - she's got it all on her iPod.
Book Of Eli Tweet 18 - Its OVER!!!! There ya go, I watched it so no one else has to...
Wednesday, 12 January 2011
The Bum Sex Question revisited :) Rated xxx
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Monday, 10 January 2011
Black Swan - Might be a bit spoilery....but not specific :)
Black Swan
(STOP!! IF you haven't yet seen it, this might be considered a bit spoilery, although NO SPECIFIC PLOT DETAILS are discussed - Just sayin.)
I really really enjoyed this cinematic peep into the heart of madness. For me, that’s what it was – a picture from within - of what it must be like to gradually lose all sense of reality and succumb to the darkness of mental illnesses such as schizophrenia and to some extent, depression and manic depression. To know that things are not right, that you need to get a grip, shake it off – and yet be utterly helpless to stem the tide of paranoia and delusion that grips the mind when such an illness is doing its worst.
These things seem to grip at the very worst of times – the mind’s cries of “Noooo, not right now, when I’m about to get that promotion, or sit that exam, or compete in that race etc” those times when we are pushing ourselves to the very limit (whether we know it or not) are the very times we are most vulnerable. And whilst I’ve never been quite so grippingly dramatic in my self delusion, I’ve suffered many a moment of utterly irrational darkness fed and nurtured by my own self destructive tendencies. And nearly always at the very worst, most inconvenient of times.
The flip side for me being those equally deluded and irrational highs - dreams and plans of soaring high on my achievements.
But my own struggles are never anywhere near as pronounced or as signposted as the ones in the film, and I’m thankful for that aspect of the storytelling here. For at least throughout we know this is a fiction, because things are maybe too neat and single stranded for it to be a true depiction of such illnesses. The truth tends to be a lot more fragmented, and thus delusions and their causes are harder to spot, recognise, own and control. The complexity of mental illnesses, and the depth of their root causes make them difficult to explain to others, and therefore so much misunderstanding still surrounds conditions like Schizophrenia, BiPolar disorders and severe despression.
Thankfully, this is a piece of fiction, a truly gripping, highly entertaining depiction of the Blackness. It twists and turns with all the grace, drama and forboding of the Tragic Ballet at its centre. Well worth a watch. Highly recommended.
(STOP!! IF you haven't yet seen it, this might be considered a bit spoilery, although NO SPECIFIC PLOT DETAILS are discussed - Just sayin.)
I really really enjoyed this cinematic peep into the heart of madness. For me, that’s what it was – a picture from within - of what it must be like to gradually lose all sense of reality and succumb to the darkness of mental illnesses such as schizophrenia and to some extent, depression and manic depression. To know that things are not right, that you need to get a grip, shake it off – and yet be utterly helpless to stem the tide of paranoia and delusion that grips the mind when such an illness is doing its worst.
These things seem to grip at the very worst of times – the mind’s cries of “Noooo, not right now, when I’m about to get that promotion, or sit that exam, or compete in that race etc” those times when we are pushing ourselves to the very limit (whether we know it or not) are the very times we are most vulnerable. And whilst I’ve never been quite so grippingly dramatic in my self delusion, I’ve suffered many a moment of utterly irrational darkness fed and nurtured by my own self destructive tendencies. And nearly always at the very worst, most inconvenient of times.
The flip side for me being those equally deluded and irrational highs - dreams and plans of soaring high on my achievements.
But my own struggles are never anywhere near as pronounced or as signposted as the ones in the film, and I’m thankful for that aspect of the storytelling here. For at least throughout we know this is a fiction, because things are maybe too neat and single stranded for it to be a true depiction of such illnesses. The truth tends to be a lot more fragmented, and thus delusions and their causes are harder to spot, recognise, own and control. The complexity of mental illnesses, and the depth of their root causes make them difficult to explain to others, and therefore so much misunderstanding still surrounds conditions like Schizophrenia, BiPolar disorders and severe despression.
Thankfully, this is a piece of fiction, a truly gripping, highly entertaining depiction of the Blackness. It twists and turns with all the grace, drama and forboding of the Tragic Ballet at its centre. Well worth a watch. Highly recommended.
Sunday, 9 January 2011
Open letter to those two tw*ts in the Match Dot Com Ad.
Right, that’s it. The pair of you need to sit down and listen to a few fricken home truths, you shallow donkeys.
Ok Firstly OLD MOVIES .... Like the WHAT? The fucking GODFATHER? You bloody clueless embryo. Admitedly, had you stopped your “Oooh listen me I’m quirky cos I sing like I’m humming in a lift” ditty there, you would at least have given an indication that you like GOOD movies, but OLD??? That my deluded pal is NOT a fucking OLD movie – try something like Moonfleet or Ace In The Hole or Night Of The Hunter or The Searchers or the Maltese Falcon or basically anything that was made say before you were born, because truly, the whole world, not just movies, was better before you two came along, you waste of carbon.
Oooh but you didn’t stop there, you said “Godfather (Comedy pause...) Three”, like you were the Jimmy Carr of Funny reveal jokes, embarrassingly indicating you like a laugh, but for the most part no one else laughs with you because you have a hole where your sense of funny should be.
“Its not considered the best one, but that’s just me...” Now usually, people say shit like “that’s just me...” when they really mean “but they are wrong, and I know better....” I’m going to assume that’s what you were going for and say this – Your only hope is to have your entire personality wiped like in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, but don’t bother to try for just the stuff you think you know about movies, get rid of everything. Safer all round. Good. That’s that bit tourniqueyed.
Secondly, what the cock are the pair of you doing exactly, moping around in a second hand musical instruments shop dressed like you took about three hours to decide what to wear and still ended up looking like a really vain tramp. Seriously, were you going for the “I’m so not bothered about my looks because I’m so well balanced” thing that fashion knobheads on Carnaby Street think they have down? You know it doesn’t work, right? You are just the modern equivalent of the Naked Emperor, with your obvious vanity gonads slapping your bare thighs in the wind, making the rest of us stare in disbelief at your overt incognisance.
The pair of you are as bad as each other, you with your carefully sculpted bedhead hair, and her with that bloody “Enid Blyton Chic” look. No wonder you are both in some charity shop sans mates, bet you reckon you like your own company and you are “comfortable in your own skin”. I’ll tell you why you like your own company, its because over the years and years you have spent self obsessing and honing that choreographed casual look, everybody who has ever known you has walked away relieved at the fact they escaped the narcissistic black hole you have become.
So, now you are looking for someone “like you” at Match dot Com so that you can share your obvious social broke-dick-dog-ness? Well, I’m hoping with all my bloody might that you two don’t actually get together and breed, you pair of unfortunates. Because then we really do got some problems, Houston.
Ok Firstly OLD MOVIES .... Like the WHAT? The fucking GODFATHER? You bloody clueless embryo. Admitedly, had you stopped your “Oooh listen me I’m quirky cos I sing like I’m humming in a lift” ditty there, you would at least have given an indication that you like GOOD movies, but OLD??? That my deluded pal is NOT a fucking OLD movie – try something like Moonfleet or Ace In The Hole or Night Of The Hunter or The Searchers or the Maltese Falcon or basically anything that was made say before you were born, because truly, the whole world, not just movies, was better before you two came along, you waste of carbon.
Oooh but you didn’t stop there, you said “Godfather (Comedy pause...) Three”, like you were the Jimmy Carr of Funny reveal jokes, embarrassingly indicating you like a laugh, but for the most part no one else laughs with you because you have a hole where your sense of funny should be.
“Its not considered the best one, but that’s just me...” Now usually, people say shit like “that’s just me...” when they really mean “but they are wrong, and I know better....” I’m going to assume that’s what you were going for and say this – Your only hope is to have your entire personality wiped like in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, but don’t bother to try for just the stuff you think you know about movies, get rid of everything. Safer all round. Good. That’s that bit tourniqueyed.
Secondly, what the cock are the pair of you doing exactly, moping around in a second hand musical instruments shop dressed like you took about three hours to decide what to wear and still ended up looking like a really vain tramp. Seriously, were you going for the “I’m so not bothered about my looks because I’m so well balanced” thing that fashion knobheads on Carnaby Street think they have down? You know it doesn’t work, right? You are just the modern equivalent of the Naked Emperor, with your obvious vanity gonads slapping your bare thighs in the wind, making the rest of us stare in disbelief at your overt incognisance.
The pair of you are as bad as each other, you with your carefully sculpted bedhead hair, and her with that bloody “Enid Blyton Chic” look. No wonder you are both in some charity shop sans mates, bet you reckon you like your own company and you are “comfortable in your own skin”. I’ll tell you why you like your own company, its because over the years and years you have spent self obsessing and honing that choreographed casual look, everybody who has ever known you has walked away relieved at the fact they escaped the narcissistic black hole you have become.
So, now you are looking for someone “like you” at Match dot Com so that you can share your obvious social broke-dick-dog-ness? Well, I’m hoping with all my bloody might that you two don’t actually get together and breed, you pair of unfortunates. Because then we really do got some problems, Houston.
Wednesday, 3 November 2010
Here's a quickie
Some bloke on the news just been asking if all this moaning about David Cameron's Personal Photographer isn't just "nit picking"....
What irritates me hugely is the open favouritism displayed in the media at the moment towards the Government (I balk when I say that, truly) If we were talking about Ed Miliband here, the media would have a bloomin field day over it, but no, because its Davey Cameron its OK and the moaners are just nit picking.
Its not nit picking, its another sign that Davey Cameron is a shady git who constantly reminds me of some wanky head boy with a little gang of in crowders who think they can do what they bloody well like and the oiks better shut up about it. His photographer has been given a very cushy civil servant position which means I'm bloody paying his wages, instead of paying for someone actually useful. Not only that, but he didn't even go through interview, and the job was never advertised. God forbid we jump to "Jobs for the boys" though, as that'd be nit picking.
Yeah. Nit picking. Picking on a right nit. The human lice some disillusioned fools put into office (Because I certainly didn't do it!!) There are similarities I guess, in that he does make my flesh crawl and make me feel bloody lousy...
What a vain, conceited knobcheese.
Dayz xx
Some bloke on the news just been asking if all this moaning about David Cameron's Personal Photographer isn't just "nit picking"....
What irritates me hugely is the open favouritism displayed in the media at the moment towards the Government (I balk when I say that, truly) If we were talking about Ed Miliband here, the media would have a bloomin field day over it, but no, because its Davey Cameron its OK and the moaners are just nit picking.
Its not nit picking, its another sign that Davey Cameron is a shady git who constantly reminds me of some wanky head boy with a little gang of in crowders who think they can do what they bloody well like and the oiks better shut up about it. His photographer has been given a very cushy civil servant position which means I'm bloody paying his wages, instead of paying for someone actually useful. Not only that, but he didn't even go through interview, and the job was never advertised. God forbid we jump to "Jobs for the boys" though, as that'd be nit picking.
Yeah. Nit picking. Picking on a right nit. The human lice some disillusioned fools put into office (Because I certainly didn't do it!!) There are similarities I guess, in that he does make my flesh crawl and make me feel bloody lousy...
What a vain, conceited knobcheese.
Dayz xx
Sunday, 31 October 2010
Twitter's Third Law.
Oh holy carp, Twitter, you need to get yourself some meds and calm down a bit.
I mean, Y'know, people do think stuff. Then these days, they might tweet it, or tell somebody in an interview, or blog about it or do a stand up routine about it, or put it in the papers or somesuch, and then you realise that its out there in the wild...
And y'know, sometimes, that stuff we think may well have been a bit illconsidered. Or borne of a particular mood, or time of day, or based on whether or not you managed to catch that bus, meet that deadline, get that job,or whether we got slagged off by complete strangers, asked a stupid question whilst in a flippant mood, Whether we've taken our meds on time, still stinging from being judged too quickly in the past, and so on. That is what makes it so damned readable.
And the ol "World and his Mate" suddenly has a chance to judge from a base of relative anonymity, with the all the consideration of a snap decision on a temporal bacon slicer. Plus World-And-His-Mate seems incapable of any kind of flexibility when it comes to those judgements - its like if you don't leap onto the judgement bandwagon quick enough and tell the other World-And-His-Mates exactly how you see it, you will be eaten by the darkness like in Never Ending Story.
But of course, World-And-His-Mates judgements are just as prone to being illconsidered and borne of all those other things I just yarked on about above. So much so that they likely just cancel out the Stuff someone else has thunk and shared which so angered or aroused the attention of the world and his mates.....
I just invented Twitter's Third Law.
AND as an avid reader of stuff people think, and of the judgements about stuff people think, you can usually feel pretty safe.
But as soon as you cross the line and share its a whole new story.
As a thinker, sharer and a judger, even if its just on Twitter, we're none of us so safe. We always know the World and His Mates might be waiting to leap on our thoughts and spew out that illconsidered judgement at us for a change.
Consider though, what a bloody sad place it would be if no one could be arsed to either share their Thinks or Judge other people's Thinks.
So what if Stephen Fry shared some stuff that folk were perturbed by - they jumped on it and spewed some illconsidered crap right back and the balance - in my eyes - was quickly restored.
Twitter, I do love your Thinks, and your judgements about Thinks, and I will continue to be brave and share some of mine, and judge other peoples, because in the end - Its just Twitter and it won't last long. Hell, not even long enough to wrap bloody chips in for gooness sakes.
Daized xx
I mean, Y'know, people do think stuff. Then these days, they might tweet it, or tell somebody in an interview, or blog about it or do a stand up routine about it, or put it in the papers or somesuch, and then you realise that its out there in the wild...
And y'know, sometimes, that stuff we think may well have been a bit illconsidered. Or borne of a particular mood, or time of day, or based on whether or not you managed to catch that bus, meet that deadline, get that job,or whether we got slagged off by complete strangers, asked a stupid question whilst in a flippant mood, Whether we've taken our meds on time, still stinging from being judged too quickly in the past, and so on. That is what makes it so damned readable.
And the ol "World and his Mate" suddenly has a chance to judge from a base of relative anonymity, with the all the consideration of a snap decision on a temporal bacon slicer. Plus World-And-His-Mate seems incapable of any kind of flexibility when it comes to those judgements - its like if you don't leap onto the judgement bandwagon quick enough and tell the other World-And-His-Mates exactly how you see it, you will be eaten by the darkness like in Never Ending Story.
But of course, World-And-His-Mates judgements are just as prone to being illconsidered and borne of all those other things I just yarked on about above. So much so that they likely just cancel out the Stuff someone else has thunk and shared which so angered or aroused the attention of the world and his mates.....
I just invented Twitter's Third Law.
AND as an avid reader of stuff people think, and of the judgements about stuff people think, you can usually feel pretty safe.
But as soon as you cross the line and share its a whole new story.
As a thinker, sharer and a judger, even if its just on Twitter, we're none of us so safe. We always know the World and His Mates might be waiting to leap on our thoughts and spew out that illconsidered judgement at us for a change.
Consider though, what a bloody sad place it would be if no one could be arsed to either share their Thinks or Judge other people's Thinks.
So what if Stephen Fry shared some stuff that folk were perturbed by - they jumped on it and spewed some illconsidered crap right back and the balance - in my eyes - was quickly restored.
Twitter, I do love your Thinks, and your judgements about Thinks, and I will continue to be brave and share some of mine, and judge other peoples, because in the end - Its just Twitter and it won't last long. Hell, not even long enough to wrap bloody chips in for gooness sakes.
Daized xx
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)