Wednesday, 12 January 2011

The Bum Sex Question revisited :) Rated xxx

Thought I'd post some of my Facebook Notes on OOMTM - Just.

Out Of My Tiny Mind 2 - Everything you ever wanted to know about Bum Sex (rated XXX)
by Daisy Connolly on Sunday, 05 July 2009 at 14:04

If your reading this and you are offended by the idea of bum stuff, be it touching,playing, or entering, then STOP reading. You'll not like it. It's not for you. Really, STOP. NOW.

OKay if you're still reading I'm assuming you are a mature open person and will not be offended by talk of taking it up the arse, okay? Okay.

Writing that first warning bit there reminded me of the ads for cereal where the parents try to convince the kids they won't like it. Like the pleasures it holds are not to be shared, but held on to like a special secret. There's a look you get when a group of adults bring up bum sex, from the people who have actually tried it. Its a kind of gentle smile of recognition that the others really and truly do not know what they are missing. And I'm still in two minds whether to write this blog, because to be honest, if people are convinced that all bum play is the devils work, maybe I should just smile knowingly and nod my head - after all, we don't want everyone doing it, do we.

I do want to share some insights though, in the interest of balance, because a healthy sex life is everyone's right, surely.

The pleasurable pandoras box that is Anal Sex is surrounded by myth. And an Arseload of Cultural Taboosabout bums. Myths and cultutral taboos are the things that keep most people from experimenting. Myths like these :- It Hurts. You'll get poo on you. It smells bad. and of course - IT HURTS.

Lets start with the whole poo thing - In my experience, if you need a poo, you likely won't be thinking about anal sex. In my experience, the only time you are likely to get any poo on you is when you are shortly going to poo. And just like you wouldn't really get a hard on when you really need to piss, you probably not gonna embark on a big ol sex romp with a tummy ache telling you you have other pressing matters. So. Wipe your arse properly. Shit and Shower beforehand, and poo is not gonna be a major issue.

The smell thing - it's gonna be controversial, but most sex involves a degree of odour. Usually, those odours are deliciously appetising when we are turned on. You either like those smells or you don't. I know of folks who shower before and after, because they truly don't enjoy the musk of arousal. Others salivate at the thought of those same aromas. So, if you have real hang ups about body smells in general, then you'll prolly have a few other hurdles to jump in your pursuit of sexual pleasure (You probably don't do oral yet either) before you leap towards the bum. :) As with all sexual exploring, wash first, and wash after, and everything in between will take care of itself.

Oooh and now the big one - it hurts. Pain and pleasure have always held hands a little, but there are ways to find the best mix of the two to suit you. Part of the sensuality of anal play is that it needs a lot of trust and co-operation - otherwise, yeah, it'll likely hurt.

So when you're ready, (Maybe on your own first, then with a partner) Get some lube. KY is the most well known and easily available - the gel stuff in tubes is quite sticky though and some prefer the slightly thinner feel of the more expensiveliquid lubes as they allow more sensations to be experienced. I like this stuff myself...http://www.bedroompleasures.co.uk/sex-toys/Lubricants.89/Warming-Lubes.91/ID-Pleasure-80ml-Squeeze-Bottle.307.html
STEP 1 - start small - looking and touching. And don't forget the lube. There's ALWAYS time for lube... Then the curiously childish rhyme is a good guide for the next step
STEP 2: One finger, one thumb, Keep moving. When your happy with touching you can move on.
STEP 3 - Toy with it - use a good sex toy, one that you are happy to "imagine" being used. It's a bit like when you lose a filling, and you can't see the cavity, but you can feel it with your tongue and it seems HUGE. Any toy back there feels, well, bigger than it is, so buy a pocket vibe and off you go..
STEP 4 - might or might not happen, depending on whether you have enjoyed the earlier steps - penetrative sex needs a lot of trust, practise and care. You both need to want it badly enough to be bothered to take it slower than a snail wank. The rewards are obvious if you've enjoyed the play stages.

Right - now all that's out in the open, maybe you'll at least have a better understanding of A) why anal sex is so sought after by guys, and B) why Anal Sex is avoided by so many women.

Here endeth the first sex advice clinic by the Dr Ruth of Stand Up, Daisy Connolly.

Now bugger off.

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